I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize