That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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