She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
