There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
