I'm passing your future prison.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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