discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
His nipple licking is glorious
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