girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
