There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
