Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
