he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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