So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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