is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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