I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize