so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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