Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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