Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
