I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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