Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
