And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
