Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
