i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
