You smell like stripper and shame
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
