I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
