You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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