hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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