can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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