Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Randomize
