Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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