It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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