grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
why does every cop we meet know your name?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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