so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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