my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
