**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize