well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
