an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
