It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
