My first STD was from a foam party
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
