how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
