the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
