I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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