If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Your cock deserves a montage
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
