i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
