apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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