Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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