drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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