She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
