i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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