see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
