hotel room ftw
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
