If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
