Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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