Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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