I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
