check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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