On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize