im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
if only i could text you this smell
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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