So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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