How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
