Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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