I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
